On my way...

Today went pretty well, I'm still really struggling with my husbands ex-wife and some of her decisions. It's so hard being a step-parent and seeing what is going on and the egos that are involved, but not being able to do anything about it. I'm so proud of myself for not giving into the tempation of eating some of the junk my husband just brought home from the grocery store (talk about sabotaging behavior!). I really need to find an outlet for the frustration and anger I'm feeling towards my husbands ex-wife. It's eating me up inside! Without food to numb me, I need something to get it out. I did make everyone take a walk with me last night. BS (Bonus Son) hated the walk, he complained and dragged his feet the whole time, BD (Bonus Daughter) LOVED the whole thing and was running and skipping and just generally having a great time. DH (Dear Husband) was game, although I don't think he liked that he had to deal with BS dragging his feet and complaining the whole time. I am proud of all of us though - 30 minutes. A great start in my book!

I've found it's easier to track what I'm eating in sparkpeople.com, this gives me reports and other things that seem to motivate me. I'm going to try pasting what I ate yesterday down below to give a detailed account of what I'm eating.

I'm already surprised at how much I snack while I'm cooking. I think I've been eating two meals every time I cook, one while I'm cooking and one while I'm eating with the family.

Stats for today:

Water: 10 glasses
Food: (it didn't copy very well, but you get the gist)
THURSDAY, MARCH 17, 2011
BREAKFAST
Calories Fat Carbohydrates Protein
Scrambled Egg, 2 large 140 15 3 14
Cheese, Kraft Mexican Style Taco Cheese, 0.13 cup 52 4 1 3
Butter, salted, 0.25 tbsp 25 3 0 0
Mushrooms, cooked, 1 mushroom 3 0 1 0
Onions, raw, 0.13 cup, chopped 8 0 2 0
La Tortilla Factory - Low Carb Tortilla, 0.5 serving 25 1 5 3
Milk, 2%, 0.25 fl oz 4 0 0 0
Ham, extra lean, (5% fat), 1 slice (6-1/4" x 4" x 1/16") 37 1 0 5
295 24 11 25
LUNCH
Calories Fat Carbohydrates Protein
Baby Carrots, raw, 4 medium 13 0 3 0
Sunflower Seeds, with salt added, 0.25 oz 41 4 2 1
Tossed Salad, 2.5 cup 55 0 11 4
Sunsweet, Dried Cranberries, 1.5 oz, 0.25 serving 35 0 9 0
Brianna's HomeStyle Chipotle Cheddar Dressing, 2.5 tbsp 138 14 5 1
Tillamook Pepper Jack Cheese, 2 oz 220 18 2 12
502 36 32 19
DINNER
Calories Fat Carbohydrates Protein
Sour Cream, 1 tbsp 26 3 1 0
Cheddar or Colby Cheese, Low Fat, 0.33 oz 16 1 0 2
Ground Turkey, 0.75 patty (4 oz, raw) (yield after cooking) 145 8 0 17
Black Olives, 8 jumbo 54 5 4 1
Romaine Lettuce (salad), 1.5 cup, shredded 12 0 2 1
Red Ripe Tomatoes, 0.13 cup, chopped or sliced 5 0 1 0
Taco Shells, 1 medium (approx 5" dia) 62 3 8 1
Kroger Creamy Ranch Dressing, 0.5 tbsp 23 2 1 0
Salsa, Southwest Salsa (Safeway Select brand), 1 tbsp 5 0 0 0
347 21 16 23

Overall totals are : 1144 Calories, 81g fat, 59g carbohydrates, 67g protein. Pretty good, if I do say so myself. I was really surprised to learn while looking at the graph of a breakdown of my calories that the two slices of cheese that I put on my salad were the largest portion of my calorie base today!! I was raised on putting cheese on everything, so I've never really paid much attention to what it's actually composed of. This is going to be really good for me, I'm sure!

Exercise:
30 minute walk with family after dinner
40 crunches (front), 15 crunches (each side), 20 lower crunches, 10 push ups (3 sets). I'm feeling slightly sore today and I love it!

Celebrating Today:
I exercised! Something I can always seem to find an excuse not to do. I'm really proud of myself for just doing it. I'm also really proud of myself for not indulging in the cookies my husband bought yesterday. This new lifestyle change is exactly that, a lifestyle change and I don't want to make this a diet that is going to fail because I'm restricting myself so much. So I told myself that if I have that cookie tonight it won't have time to metabolize which will just ruin everything I did for the day, so I promised myself I could have one tomorrow during lunch which will give me time to savor the thought, and give me something to look forward too, as well as give my body time to metabolize before it starts slowing down for the evening. Do you think my thinking is flawed?

Love,

Me